Matters of the Heart...

When words cannot be spoken.....



I always knew that at some point this time would come but continued to look away as though somehow it would change the inevitable. But the time has come, for tomorrow has become today. There will be no need for farewell. I will merely step away and with each step taken I will fade into the background of your minds and in time become nothing more than a distant memory. It is only here, in this memory that I can be the person you need me to be. Although each of us have had a different journey in life we have shared the same path for so long, from the beginning....until now. It is from here I step off that familiar path and slowly walk away. I am not the person you think I am, I never was and I can never be.To continue on would only bring heartache and that is the last thing I would want for the people I have shared so much of my life. Sometimes it is better if things are left unsaid, so it is now I will quietly take that next step away to continue on my own journey and walk the path alone.

Contradiction..

Contradiction:

1. the act of contradicting; gainsaying or opposition.

2. assertion of the contrary or opposite; denial.

3. a statement or proposition that contradicts or denies another or itself and is logically incongruous.

4. direct opposition between things compared; inconsistency.

5. a contradictory act, fact, etc.

.....yes, this is me. I'm many things and this is one aspect that I come to realize that I have found within myself when it comes to certain subject matters. Religion/ Spirituality happens to be one of those aspects. I cannot sit here and profess my faith in God/ Spirituality/ Higher Being for that would not only be a contradiction but a lie. But, even with that being said, I still find value in the written word. I don't say this with any real religious context but in the sense that "words" rather written or spoken can be so powerful.They can unite or they can divide, they can provoke every human emotion. They can bring strife and rebellion or solace and comfort and it is in this context in which I speak of right now. So, if you should read something here that seems remotely religious/spiritual and think of me as contradictory or a hypocrite, that is because I am..........for as I have stated I'm many things, and the least of not which I am human.

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To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose, a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Decisions....

Everyday we are faced with choices in life.While some will be big and require a great deal of thought for the consequences could change the direction of our lives. There will be other decisions that are small with little or no thought will need be given as these are almost automatic because we have been down that road before and know what we want. Then there seems to be a gray area; one in which we will make a choice to seek action or do nothing at all but a decision will be made nonetheless....

.....see, today is Saturday, so that means chore day. I usually start my day by gathering up the dirty clothes and head off to the laundry mat. But as I was starting out the door I decided to use the bathroom before I leave as the restrooms there are not exactly the cleanest, so this was a decision that was made with ease. However, as I was sitting there doing my business it was then that I noticed.....I had put my underwear on inside out...it was clear another decision must be made. No, it wasn't a big decision nor was it automatic for it was one of those that I thought fell into the gray area. Therefore I could seek action to correct the situation or do nothing at all. So after weighing the pros and cons of inaction and having finished my other business the time had come and the choice had been made.............Do nothing at all !

Afterall, what's the worst that could happen, someone see the tag sticking out and know, hell they may get a chuckle out of it.....I know I did (LOL). Afterall, in the grand scheme of things did it really matter ?...........NO !

Ice Storm 2009...continued...

I've heard it said that bad times or a crisis will bring out the best and the worst in people, the last few days I have seen both. I watched neighbors help each other out even when they themselves didn't have the means but shared what little they had with those around them. I have also witnessed people with extras hoard their abundance.

There were some 40,000 plus people here that were without power during the worst part of the storm. In my area the power went out at 5:30am Wednesday morning and did not return until Friday evening.For others, it may be a couple of weeks before power is restored and in that respect I feel fortunate. There were many who sought shelter with family, friends or the comforts of a hotel. But it was those who stayed behind, like myself and chose to weather the storm that gave me a refreshing sense into our own humanity. I have lived here several years and like those around me give a nod of the head or a smile as I pass a neighbor on to my next destination without much thought. But without the modern conveniences of life I was witness to the most basics of life....interactions with those around us. No, I do not have any tales of heroism just the simple things....a hot cup of coffee shared, shoveling the walkway of the person next door, cleaning the ice and snow off a neighbors car, bringing a hot meal to someone who was without heat or just a knock on the door to make sure all was well.However, and not surprising, as the power was slowly restored we enter back into our own little worlds as we close the doors to the outside. The next time we pass we give nod of the head or simply a smile as we hurry on to our next destination.

Ice Storm 2009

It wasn't long ago that I was wanting some snow, well I finally got it, the only problem was that we received lots and lots of ice before the snow arrived. I guess it is true, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. The freezing rain and sleet started in early Tuesday morning and by 5:30am Wednesday morning the power had gone out. I had already been informed that the shop would be closed for the day, so at daybreak I headed outside to shovel the sidewalks and driveway here at the apartment building. As the rain was coming down and then freezing on contact I realized I was going to have to take a different approach because I was getting soaking wet.So I headed upstairs to my apartment to see what I could find to stay dry while working outside. The best I could come up with was garbage bags...LOL.While it wouldn't win me any awards for best dressed it did prove to be very effective. It also proved to be very challenging to try and remove ice that is securely attached to pavement....But with no electricity and no heat what else was there to do so I took up that challenge and after several hours realized I had lost but I continued on. Around noon it changed to all snow, just what I wanted and to be honest I was content with it even with all the ice that came along with it. There just something about it, the flakes of snow gently floating to the ground in silence..... it brings a sense of calm to my restless spirit.